It was exactly eleven months after her husband left that Maria accepted she had fallen in love with her son. It had been a long process that started with vague feelings that slowly coalesced into something more tangible. After that, she spent a few months trying to deny it outright, then sought to explain it. Only now, as she was masturbating next to his sleeping almost-naked form, did she give up trying to reason it away.
…
The past year had been arduous. Maria knew her marriage with Bill was over long before he pulled shut the door behind him one last time, but the moment it happened still came as a shock. The cracks had always been there, she reasoned, ever since Alex was born.
Her husband didn’t take well to the competition for his attention and he hated how she coddled her son. Even as Alex grew up to be a popular kid at his school and went on to play for the high school football team, Bill never seemed to care much for their child.
She had moved with Bill to his home town right after their marriage as he wanted to be close to his family. Even though she always felt like she was accepted by them, the moment Bill ended things with her, they did too. All of a sudden, her and Alex were alone. She could deal with the family abandoning her but the fact they so easily tossed aside Alex, their grandson, nephew and cousin, continued to enrage her.
Alex had been living at the dorms of college one state over at the time, but he transferred to their college and moved back in without her even bringing it up. They lived close enough for him to be able to undertake the daily commute, aided by some online learning courses. Although it had saddened Maria greatly that her personal affairs with his father had uprooted his life, she couldn’t help but be grateful he moved back in with her.
Her social circle had shrunk down to him and the occasional chat with a neighbour or a parent she knew from Alex’ old school. It felt only natural that they grew closer over time, even more so than they had been when he was younger. He started occasionally sleeping next to her in her bed, something he hadn’t done since he was six. They would have weekly movie nights, with popcorn and the both of them sharing a duvet. Sometimes, she would even help him get ready for bed after an especially long day at college.
None of it had felt special, even though she looked forward to those moments more than anything. It had taken her a while to realize that the normal feelings of love she felt for him had started to be replaced with butterflies in her stomach. They had been subtle at first, just a short tinge up her stomach when she heard him walk in the front door or smelling his scent when she was doing the laundry. But that didn’t take long, and it was soon after she felt all the telltale signs of a crush.
Whenever he looked at her, her heart would pound hard and heavy in her chest. His touch would send shivers up her spine. The slightest hint of his smell would make her dizzy. A moment that played through her mind relentlessly for months was the time she walked in on him showering. It had only been a flash as he pulled the shower curtain closed and she didn’t even see anything inappropriate.
Nonetheless, the sight of his naked form in profile from his strong calves to his muscular shoulders shining and wet had imprinted itself on her. She had actively avoided him the rest of the day to hide the blush that covered her face until she went to bed.
Once the awkward realization had settled in, she tried to deny it. They weren’t butterflies, she told herself. Whatever she was feeling, it wasn’t a crush. She wasn’t in love with her son. She didn’t desire him in a way no mother should desire her own child. It would be the sign of a deviant, a monster to covet the sexual touch of her boy, for him to lay on her heavy and warm, to push her legs apart and drive himself into her.
It had been the first time she masturbated at the thought, but even as she did she denied it. She supplanted her thoughts of him with other men. Famous actors, colleagues, Bill. Even as she lay in her bed in the middle of the night, her bed covers kicked to the side, her panties pulled down to her ankles, with her legs spread and her hand between her thighs, she pretended she wasn’t thinking of Alex. Even as the electric orgasm shattered through her, her hand that she so wished was his tongue pressed tightly against her pussy, she willed herself to think of someone, anyone, else.
Thinking of it in hindsight, she supposed it had worked for a while. Stubborn, complete denial helped her push down her feelings. It stopped her wandering eyes, prevented her from lingering with her touch, allowed her to interact with him in a way that approached normalcy.
She would congratulate herself mentally whenever she didn’t feel the need to crawl into bed with one of his shirts to play with herself. She thought she was over her crush when she stopped scrolling through his social media feed looking for pictures of him Nişantaşı Escort at the swimming pool. For a time, she was really good at pretending.
It didn’t last. Alex had always been a sensitive boy, especially with his mother. He sensed when she was hurt or tired or sad, even without her saying anything. Where others would look her in her eyes and swear she was fine, Alex would instantly know something was wrong. That’s how he picked up on her change in behaviour, although he didn’t know why she behaved differently. To him, she acted like she always had but there was a distance now.
When he hugged her, she pulled away a few seconds sooner. If he slept in her bed, she would only get in after he had fallen asleep. During the summer, she wouldn’t join him to swim in their pool. But she still smiled when she saw him, still left a note for him when he had to leave for college before she woke up. In his confusion, he reasoned she was taking her divorce badly, that she was pulling back because she was hurt. To show her he would always be here for her, Alex sought to be even closer.
…
Maria had spent the day at work, then came home to take care of the usual householding tasks. After putting on the laundry she cleaned the bathroom, then spent some time sorting her bookshelf. It had taken her until recently to start throwing away Bill’s stuff. She felt rather liberated tossing his stupid war books and stamp collections into the trash.
Alex walked in at a little past 7 p.m., right when she finished cooking dinner. He tossed his bag down at the bottom of the stairs and walked up to her.
“Welcome home hun, ” Maria said without looking in his direction. She felt the familiar flush of blood run up to her face but she knew it would fade in a few seconds. “How was your day?”
The young man sighed as he came closer, lightly touched her side as he leaned over and pecked her on the cheek. Maria smiled as she leaned into the kiss just a little bit, allowing her to enjoy the feeling of his lips on her skin a tiny bit longer.
He turned away and ran his hand through his dirt blonde hair. “It was okay I guess, long day. Actually left school at three but there was an accident or something so I sat in traffic for two hours.”
He grunted and Maria felt her nipples harden at the sound.
Shocked, she turned her head to look at him. He was facing away from her, with one hand on his lower back and the other in his neck. He arched his back and groaned, louder now. This time, Maria managed to suppress whatever her body was thinking of when he made that sound.
“My back is killing me,” he said with a heavy tired voice as he relaxed his posture and moved to sit down at the dinner table.
Maria focused back on the food in front of her, scooping it out of the pan and putting it on two plates.
“You should take a hot bath after dinner, maybe that’ll help,” she said as she grabbed the plates and walked over to the dinner table. She put one down in front of him and then sat down on her own chair.
Even though originally he would always sit on the opposite side of the table during dinner time, after Bill left he had moved to sit next to her, on his father’s old spot. Lately, she had let the thought cross her mind that Alex had started to replace Bill in more ways than one.
Alex nodded at her suggestion as he started eating. Maria looked at him for a moment, observing the familiar shape of his face, the strong features, the blue eyes that were now focused on his plate. Her gaze flashed downward, observing how his muscular torso was barely constrained by his shirt. She had told him to get bigger shirts a hundred times but he always shrugged and carried on wearing them anyway. She suspected he liked how big it made him look.
She pulled her attention away from him and also started eating. The television was on in the corner, playing the familiar jingles and inane banter of a popular gaming show. Bill never allowed it, so it had been the first thing the two of them started doing when he left.
“How was your day anyway?” Alex asked, his voice breaking the silence.
Maria looked up at his face to see he was looking at her, and she felt her heart start to pound.
“It was good,” she nodded and then looked back down. What was she afraid of?
“I don’t have to go to class tomorrow,” he continued, but she kept her eyes down.
For some reason, the intensity with which he was looking at her made the butterflies in her stomach flutter.
“Oh?” she said, trying to sound casual.
She never had to work on Friday, which meant an unexpected day alone with him.
“Yeah, I thought maybe we could do something fun.”
Maria felt she could no longer keep looking down so she turned to face him. She smiled, making herself not look giddy with excitement. “Sure! I have some chores, but we can do something. What did you have in mind?”
He looked at her for a moment without saying anything, Pendik Escort and she broke eye contact when she felt another flush of blood rush up to her face.
“Are you okay mom?” he asked.
Maria snapped his eyes back at him, her face shaped into artificial surprise.
“What do you mean dear?” she replied, desperate to sound casual.
“It’s just..” He sighed and looked down at his plate, stirring his fork through what was left of his food. Then he looked back at her. “You seem kind of distant lately. I’ve been trying to be there but it’s like you keep pulling away.” Alex reached over at her and touched her wrist.
Maria clenched her jaw not to have her body react.
“See?” He picked up on it instantly and pulled his hand back. “Is it something I did? Something I said?”
Maria looked at him and shook her head. “Not at all baby, you didn’t do anything wrong.”
This time it was her who reached out and touched his wrist. He was warm against her fingers. She fought the urge to run her fingers up his massive forearm, up his biceps, under his clothes. The fantasies were getting more aggressive, more vivid. Now they were there even when she was talking to him. She cleared her throat. “It’s just been busy at work and I’ve been tired a lot.” She moved her hand back as she looked away for a moment, then looked back.
“Well, alright…” Alex said, his voice unsure.
He clearly wasn’t convinced, but it seemed he was somewhat relieved it had nothing to do with him. Quietly he continued eating, sometimes straining his neck to the side or arching his back.
“Is your back still bothering you?” Maria asked.
He nodded.
“Alright. Why don’t you run yourself a bath and I’ll clean up here?” she said as she stood up and collected their plates.
Alex looked up at her, smiled and stood up too.
“Alright. Thanks, mom.” He leaned over to kiss her on her cheek again, then walked up the stairs.
As she heard the water running upstairs and she put the dishes in the dishwasher, her mind raced. He had never picked up on her change in behaviour before. She felt like she almost got caught. At the same time, every interaction had started to become unbearable. Even now, she touched the fingers that had touched his wrist against her lips, as if through transference she could feel his skin on her mouth. She closed her eyes to allow the memory of him sitting next to her to play out again in front of her.
This time, she imagined her fingers to follow the length of his lower arm, rest on the inside of his elbow, then trace their ways upwards onto his biceps and triceps. The fantasy continued even as she realised she was rubbing her thighs together, gripping her hands onto the kitchen counter. She imagined he would get up from his chair and look down at her, smiling. Her heart would race, her mouth water as he raised his shirt over his head to expose his muscled chest.
She savoured the thought. Her hands would splay themselves on his abs, feel the strength coiled inside them as she moved up. Her fingers would comb through his slight chest hair up to his chest. The moan that escaped her lips startled her out of her fantasy and her eyes sprang open. Above her, the sound of running water filling the bathtub had stopped. There was no doubt he was naked now, soaking himself in the hot water.
The urge to do something, anything, was mind-numbing. She wanted to masturbate right there in the kitchen. Pull her dress off over her head, lay down on the cold kitchen tiles and make herself cum at the thought of his body. She wanted to run upstairs, throw open the door to the bathroom and join him in the bath. She wanted to suck and taste and fuck him. But not him. Not Alex. Someone who looked like Alex and smelled like Alex and felt like Alex, but wasn’t. Someone who wasn’t her son.
Dizzy, she let herself fall down on her chair. Her heart was beating, her breathing fast. It felt like her bra was suffocating her. She felt the wet spot in her underwear. She closed her eyes again, but this time relished the darkness as thoughts raced through her head. Maria had no idea how she could continue like this. Every time she thought she had reached the height of her crush, something would happen that pushed it into a new level of depravity.
Her fantasies had gone from romantic cuddles in bed with his huge arms around her to rough, sweaty fucking where she got pounded into the mattress by his body that was twice her size. Even as it had started slowly it had progressed exponentially. It seemed like every day she would feel herself think about something more extreme she wanted to do to him. Or what she would let him do to her, more specifically.
She swallowed hard and opened her eyes. She had crossed her legs and rubbed her thighs together, desperate for relief. Alex would likely be in the bath for a while, she had time. It wouldn’t take very long either, she felt like the pressure on her loins would Rus Escort kill her if she didn’t get some release soon. Maria stood up, suddenly trying to be quiet, and quickly walked to the couch on her tiptoes. Instead of sitting down, she let herself fall on her back, sideways onto the seats.
Without wasting any time she raised one leg up and placed it on the backrest while her other foot stayed on the ground. With one hand she pulled up her dress and the other pulled her panties aside. She groaned, low and animalistic when she felt her fingertips touch her clit. Flashes of electricity instantly shot up her spine. The lie perpetuated. Even as her imagination focused on Alex’ face above her, the feeling of his mass on top of her, his young cock inside her, her consciousness forced someone else in his place. It wasn’t Alex, it wasn’t Alex.
“Mom!” Alex’ voice rang from upstairs and Maria had never gotten up faster in her life.
She adjusted her panties back in place through her dress as it flowed back down. Her voice trembled as she yelled back.
“What is it? Are you okay?” Her throat felt dry and she tried to swallow as she walked to the bottom of the stairs. The bathroom was the room closest to the staircase and she could see a corner of the closed door from the ground floor. She held onto the bannister when she felt the wobble in her legs.
“Yeah… Could you come up here?”
Maria fell silent for a moment. He was upstairs, in the bath, naked. Her mind raced about what he could want even as she started to ascend the stairs. Quietly, she reached the landing and stood next to the door.
“What is it?” she asked, adrenaline making her body shake.
“You can come in if you want. I just wanted to ask something,” he replied.
Maria sighed, tried to calm herself down, and opened the door.
The bath was in the corner of the room, behind the door. Swinging the door open had it block her line of sight. She heard he was still in the bath, water splashing as he moved. The mirror opposite the bath had fogged up from the steam that lingered in the room. She could only vaguely see a white blotch that was the bath, and a skin-coloured blotch that was Alex. Maria desperately tried to ignore the pulsing coming from her lap.
“What is it, hun?” she asked again, this time trying to sound like she was smiling.
“My back is still really sore. Could you give me a massage after I get out? I just need you to try and loosen up some muscles,” he said, his voice not showing a hint of suspicion.
Maria’s hand was still on the door handle and she squeezed it so hard her knuckles turned white.
“Y..yeah. Sure,” she managed to push out, her voice sounding stilted even to her.
Alex was quiet for a second, then he said: “Thanks, mom.”
Maria now felt a real physical struggle in her body. Her awareness was telling her to close the door and go back downstairs. Her desires were begging her to walk further into the bathroom and succumb to her needs. To give herself some more time, she asked him if he needed a towel. Her eyes looked up at the mirror and noticed that the condensation had started to dissipate with the door open, causing it to slowly defog from the bottom up.
“No, thanks. I got one,” he replied, again making splashing sounds.
Maria’s heart almost stopped when she saw his shape stand up, massive even when barely visible.
“Okay,” she said in return, her voice thin and soft. Her eyes were fixed on the mirror, the condensation now cleared up so high that she could see his thighs. Even as she realized she was just standing there, she couldn’t move.
On the other side of the door, Alex stepped out of the bathtub onto the tiled floor half a foot lower.
It was perfect. It was everything she imagined it to be. Girthy, long, with a round head and smooth heavy balls. In her head, it took up her whole vision. For a moment her entire existence was her son’s flaccid member, swinging between his legs as he stepped onto the floor. The shock of actually seeing it for real, in front of her, snapped her out of her internal struggle. She pulled the door closed with a jerk, slamming it shut a little too hard.
“I’ll get the bed ready!” she said loudly and paced to her bedroom.
“Oh fuck,” she whispered to herself, placing a hand on her flustered chest, her heart seemingly trying to beat itself through her ribcage.
Her pussy was now aflame, begging for release more than she ever felt, a desperate yearning to be filled she hadn’t felt for decades. It was like her body was going to die if it didn’t cum soon. But she didn’t have time. Alex was already out of the bath. It wouldn’t make sense for them to wait with the massage. He’d get out of the bathroom and she would have to give him a massage while she was hornier than she’d ever been.
She could lock herself in the toilet and masturbate there. She could make up an excuse that she had to buy some massage oil and masturbate in her car. She could say she was too tired and would have to massage him tomorrow. Even as desperate excuses ran through her head she pulled the covers to the side and put a beach towel onto the mattress.
Now, it was her conscious mind telling her to masturbate while her desires were telling her to see this through. The thought of having her hands on his naked back was too enticing.