Day five, I have not had much restful sleep in the last four days. Every time I get to sleep, I have an extremely life like dream from each of my sexual experiences over the last week.
It’s a little past 8am, and I have a little less than two hours before I head to the adult bookstore to meet Rod and make my decision known. Two hours and a huge problem! I still haven’t decided what I want. I want to give myself to this man, but what if I do and he rejects me?
That is my biggest fear, because I do not want to find that I belong to Big John, that big black man not only ripped me a new asshole, but he also beat the shit out of me. Now, I liked it at the time it was a new experience, and it was fun to a degree. I am not sure I want to live my life getting beat daily and sold like a piece meat. Yes, I liked being whored out, it was hot as hell. The idea of getting paid to service a cock that I would gladly service for free was a huge turn-on.
It would be a great way to make a living. I can see myself making a lot of money, unfortunately it would be all for someone else. That also turns me on, it is not how I want to live my life. Or at least I do not think, that is what I want. I think I have over processed this so much that I sit here thinking about being a common whore and my clit is hard. What the hell am I going to do?
It’s time to leave and I am not even close to making up my mind. I guess Rod was right, I will need whatever I get when I get naked at the bookstore.
Let’s hope that it’s just Rod and he sets my mind and heart where it should be.
I thought the drive home five days ago was long. I have been on the road ten minutes, and I feel like I am walking.
At this point I turn on the local rock station and blare the music and begin to sing along, hoping this will make the drive go faster.
Finally I have arrived, it’s 10:58. I quickly grab a twenty from my wallet and head into the counter and get my tokens. I head to the booth where I met Rod, I slipped in, leaving the door cracked open. I strip naked, drop ten dollars’ worth of tokens in the video player and sit naked on the bench watching a gay orgy scene on the screen when I see the light get brighter as the door opens.
In walks, a large black guy, wait, it is Big John, he comes in and orders me to my knees, so I slip from the bench onto the nasty cum covered floor, open my mouth and wait for him to fuck my face with nothing short of brute force.
But I was wrong, John pulled it out and in a soft voice, said this is what you want isn’t it little girl?
Yes, was all I could say as I grabbed his massive cock with one hand and guided it to my open, waiting mouth and I began to suck him as deeply as I could on my own. Within few minutes a stranger walked in and got behind me and began to dry fuck my gaping asshole. I was moaning in pure ecstasy and was moaning loud enough that a crowd began to gather.
After both men had finished they zipped up, left me used and leaking cum from my ass and the corners of my mouth. No sooner than they left and three more guys come in and I performed like a desperate slut, each one finished and left without a word. I must have been there an hour and a half when I began to get a sinking feeling that Rod was not going to show.
It was in that moment when someone walked in closed and locked the door. It was Rod!
Well, sissy boy. Have you had fun this morning?
Yes, Rod but not nearly as much as I had with you the last time, we were together.
Good girl, I made an impression on you, Rod replied. Well, what is your desire sissy?
I want to give myself to you Rod, I want to be yours and yours alone.
Hold on sissy boy. I will take you to be mine, but nothing lasts forever. You might but, I tend to doubt your ability to stay with me. You are a slut and sluts do not do well, well Ankara escort when they cannot be sluts.
I will tell you what. I will take you, but you have to know right now, that I will fuck who I want, when I want, where I want, and if you even show one ounce of jealousy we are done, and you are on your own.
When I bring a new guy home, you will not get involved, you will get neglected. You will serve us drinks and food, you will turn the bed down, clean up when I am done, you will draw my baths and make the bed. You will clean my house. You will be my servant. I will take you sexually when and where I want. I will give you to whomever I want, and you will never disobey, or you are gone. You on the other hand will never be free to be the slut you are!
You may love me, but I love no man. You will be as I said, my servant. We will not be lovers in the sense that you desire. Can you agree to that?
You will desire me in ways you will likely never attain. That is a heavy burden to bear. That is why I did what I did with you. I showed you who you really are, you are a slut. Can you bear the weight of having me at your fingertips but knowing I will likely never love you the way you love me?
If so, be at my house and six o’clock. Know this, I like you a lot and if there were ever a guy I could grow to love, you may be the one. But the likelihood is so small that you will have to decide if you can bear the long term and heavy burden of an unrequited love!
It is a lot to process in such a short time, but I knew if I gave you four days to think about this it would be too much.
Rod continued, I would like to own you, and that is it, you will be my property, not my man, or my girl, in the sense of the way you want. Maybe it could happen in time, but no less than a dozen have come to me, and no less than the same have grown weary within a month or two and were gone. And none of them were as much of a slut as you are my dear. Some like Suzi, I still see, but we do not have sex, she just helps me with guys like you, she helps me bring out your true nature. For that she is good, but she lasted three weeks under my roof.
Rod bent down gave me a passionate kiss and said I hope to see you at six, but I understand if you decide not to show. Then Rod turned walked out and as he left, I heard him say, she is all yours guys, enjoy, she is a really good fuck!
For the next couple of hours, I think every man in the place came in me at least twice. It was now four and I was full of cum, but hungry as hell. I gathered up my cloths got dressed and walked out of the place with cum leaking from my well used asshole. i was a mess I had cum all over my face and in my hair.
I got into my truck, opened the glove box, and grabbed some tissues and wipes, got myself cleaned up and headed to a sit-down restaurant a few blocks away. I pulled into the parking lot, got out and walked into place and the sign said seat yourself. So, I grabbed a booth back in the corner, I had a lot on my mind and needed to be alone.
The waiter walked up, gave me a knowing smile, and asked me what I wanted to drink. Give me a Dr. Pepper. I know what I want so if you could go on a take my order that would be great.
Yes sir, I can do that.
I told the waiter what I wanted, and he said good choice, then bent down and whispered in my hear that I had a very large strand of cum on the back left side of my head. He proceeded to let me know the restroom was right around the corner and I could get cleaned up without anyone knowing. I put my hand on his and thanked him for his kindness.
I lifted my hand; he went to place my order and I got up and headed to the bathroom to get myself presentable. As I was about to walk out, my waiter walked in and handed me his number on a piece of paper and said to me, you are Ankara escort bayan cute and if you are free, I would like to hook up and see where it might lead.
I took the paper, thanked him then put his number in my pocket. Just what I needed a good-looking stud wanting to hook up and I am about to decide the fate of my life.
Will I be with Rod?
Will I ever look like a man again?
In just a few hours my whole life will change no matter what I decide. A handsome hunk making such an appealing offer is not what I need right now. Or maybe it is?
The handsome waiter brought my food, laid it out before me, asked I he could refill my drink. I handed him glass thanked him and began to season my food. The waiter quickly returned with my drink and asked if I needed anything.
I responded, yep, but it is not served in any restaurant.
Excuse me, the waiter replied.
I’m sorry, I have a lot on my mind and must make what will be a life altering decision in just a couple of hours and have no idea what to do.
That must weigh heavy on your heart. I have a break in a couple of minutes, if you could use an ear, I would be honored to join you and see if I can help you.
I responded, what the hell, I could use a neutral ear! I’m simply not going to be able to make this decision without someone’s help and you have been very kind. Please join me when you go on break. I would love the help.
I return to my meal and pretty much scarf it down because I am so hungry, so torn and so confused about what I should do. About the time I wash down my last bite, my waiter returns with two drinks, a refill for me and one for him.
As we talk, he tells me his name is Robert and I introduce myself and Robert jumps right in and asks what is that has you so torn? What could be so important that it is so life altering?
I proceed to explain about the situation and about Rod and the choice I had to make.
Robert looked into my eyes with such empathy and concern and said something so insightful that for the first time, I began to think that I might not, return to Rod.
Robert looked at me and said, honey, you are valuable, you are more than property. And this guy Rod is correct, if you are a slut, you will be miserable. Let me ask you one question. It is deeply personal and if you are not comfortable answering just say so, okay,
Sure Robert, ask away.
Do you like dressing like a girl? And would you like to explore that more? And by explore, I mean discover and learn what is required so you can pass as a girl in public?
Robert, what can I say? I do and I don’t. There are times when I want to be a girl and over the past week, that has gotten so much stronger. With that said, I have always loved wearing panties, but have never given much thought about taking it further. The idea excites and scare me. That is about as honest of an answer as I can give you.
I have to go back to work, but I get off at seven and I would love to get together with you Robert said. I would like to take you out and show you how a sissy should be treated. If it is something you would like to explore, it is something I am intimately familiar with as my older brother lives full time as a woman and I know she has helped others find their path. She has guided several of our friends, helping them discover what was right for them. And if it is right for you, she can help you with the process.
Robert continued, I have to say, I bet you are drop dead gorgeous as a woman. You have nice facial features and a really decent body for that life.
I blushed and thanked Robert. I let him know I still was unsure how I was going to decide.
At this point, I have about two hours before I am to be at Rod’s should he be my choice. At this point I am so torn, because I am a sex junkie, I am Escort Ankara a slut, and I am not sure I could live without a crazy amount of sex. Yet, I am so deeply into Rod, and I would love for him to mold me and shape into the sissy faggot he desires.
What am I going to do? Well at this point all I can do is get in the truck, crank up the tunes, take a hit or two off my pipe, catch a little buzz and drive.
As the times has passed I realize that I have driven to about every stomping ground I know in this town, and I still have a half hour and I am no closer to a decision now than I was while talking to that stud of a waiter.
All I know right now; my choice would have been a lot easier if it had not been for Robert. His word keep echoing through my mind. He was certainly a stud and very masculine, which suits me well, being that I am so submissive to start with. I just wish one of these men would make the choice for me. But alas, even submissive sissies from time to time have to take charge sometimes.
I just hate it, no matter what I choose, I lose something I want.
I have about twenty minutes and I find that I am headed toward Rod’s place.
Is this my choice?
It is 5:55 and I am a block and a half away. The truck is running, it is in park, and I am racking my head. Rod has had such an effect on me, he has opened so many sexual doors and honestly even the rough stuff was a turn on, but it is not something I want to have happen on a regular basis.
Same for the hooking. I loved it, it was a thrill to know another man paid four hundred and fifty dollars to have sex with me and slap me around for several hours. It hurt like hell, I was sore for days, but each time the pain presented itself, I got hard. I obviously liked it a lot.
However, regardless of how much I liked it, I do not want it happening so frequently that it loses its excitement.
It’s 5:59 and I put the truck in gear and head toward Rod’s house. I drive slowly and at 6:01, I pull up, not in his driveway but on the street. I jump out of the truck knowing the decision has been made because I was late.
I knock on the door and Rod answer it. You are late whore, Rod exclaims!
I know sir, I wanted to let you know I cannot give myself to you because you are correct. I am a slut and I know how bad I want and need you and it would kill me to not be able to have you the way I want. I am so sorry, I really wanted to say yes but I had to acknowledge that you were right. I came up anyway to tell you how much you mean to me and how much I appreciate everything you did to and for me. I will always cherish you in my heart and soul. And while I know it may never happen, I want you to know you can have me anytime, anywhere, any way you want.
Rod responded, sissy boy, you are the first to not give yourself over to me. I am surprised and glad. I do care for you, but I know how I am and all day I have hoped that this would be your decision. As I would hate to be the one who crushes your spirit.
Go, be who you are and while I doubt, we will ever hook up again. If I should stick my cock through a hole and your mouth receives it, I would be honored to join you and fuck you like the slut you are.
Thanks Rod. I love you and I will never forget you. And I hope to see your lovely cock slide through that hole sometime. Thank you again for each and every experience.
Rod replied, thank you honey and bent down and gave me a kiss on the cheek. He turned walked back into his house shut the door and with a tear in my eye, I turned and walked slowly back to my truck, got in, started it up and sat for a moment and just sobbed like the girl I really am.
I had made my choice and now I was alone once again. As I pulled myself together, I dried my tears turned the radio on put the truck in drive and slowly pulled away.
As I got to the end of the street I was faced with my first choice. As I sat at the stop sign, I remembered my hunk of a waiter and his invitation. Here I am sitting at this stop sign, trying to decide, do I go left and go home to process all of this, or go right and head off for a new adventure?