Pipsy the ClownPipsy the Clown

Amateur

I sat at the kids table, sipping punch from an impossibly small cup when Pipsy the Clown entered. Her painted green smile hung from ear to ear and a small rubber ball clung for life at the tip of her nose.“Hello everyone! I’m Pipsy the clown!”The children roared in excitement, much the way children do after fortyfive minutes of sugar cookies. But then as Pipsy spoke, their wild electric energy suddenly quelled to silent agog. Pipsy was probably in her mid forties. She wore a red frizzy wig that complimented her knee high lace up clown shoes and a green dress that swirled above her knees as she pranced to center stage. Center stage consisted of an office conference room populated with half a dozen round tables occupied by twenty four crazed children.I couldn’t believe I was here. I was the elected token adult tasked to escort the company kids to the bi-annual Take-your-kid-to-work day.“Go ahead Jeff. Show your employee spirit. You’re going to loooove it.” Wendy said, grinning with the many teeth of a company human resources representative.Wendy wore her title like god given royalty.“Besides, this will count toward your yearly participation goal,” she proudly exclaimed, as if I was being handed a sacred present from the company.I proudly accepted the offer realizing it got me out of the weekly meeting, where, ironically the topic was “avoiding work place responsibilities.”So here I sat in the back of the room, the small cup empty, sticking to my lips and I swear I smelled kid fart. But as I watched Pipsy I was being transfixed like the children. I couldn’t help but watch her body as she went into her routine. She was doing some type of performance art that looked like a chicken dance/shimmy hybrid. I’m sure it had something to do with her giant shoes, but none the less she moved pretty fluidly. She had a slight pleasing plumpness that started at her breasts, ran down to her waist then trailed through her legs. I thought she was cute and continued watching as her dress swayed helplessly from the overly exaggerated dance macabre.Bzzzzzz Bzzzzzzz… my phone pulsated urgently.“Hows it going with the kiddies?” -Wendy. The words glowed on the screen.“Kids R fine, they like the clown. Who is she?” I quickly tapped out.“My friend, we hired her 2 entertain kids. BTW U R missing a great meeting.”“2 bad I can’t B there.” pound pound pound pound. Happy face emoji.My attention returned to Pipsy. She had a heart shaped face and her eyes were swimming pool blue; the corners were drawn with grease paint tears to give her a sad expression. I could tell she was probably ten years older than I was and probably had been doing the clown gig for that long as well. My mind got away from me as her boobs seemed to bounce underneath her top. I wondered what would happen if they popped out. What color would they be? Would they be painted beylikdüzü escort chalk white also? Perhaps with rosy red bulbs covering her nipples?I stopped immediately, realizing the company I was in. I was getting vaguely mad at myself for letting my mind go where it had been. This was a children’s party! I told myself. But regardless of my silent transgressions, the children in the room were having a great time, laughing and hollering at her antics. However, I knew my tendencies, I had a big imagination and it didn’t take much. I knew if I did myself I would get hard and excited like a school boy. There is no way in hell I was getting hard here. I pinched myself very hard on the knee.That pinch also helped remind me, that I had a girl friend.  We’d been seeing each other for the past six months, however that’s all we seemed to do. Just see each other. She worked in the safety dept and seemed more obsessed with the new ergo chair and desk set that she’d been talking about for weeks. I swear sometimes that gal cares more about bending at the knees and safety straps, than about us.Pipsy’s act was still in progress and she’d rolled out the never ending tea-cup gag. Holding the dainty cup with extended pinky finger and making an O shape with her thumb and forefinger to hold the handle. I watched the way she suggestively swayed the cup back and forth, and how good it would feel if… I pinched myself hard again.She smiled wide and continued the rocking gesture, more and more tea poured from the cup and into the pot below. With effortless skill, and twenty seconds later, she was still producing liquid from the cup. She poured that tea like wine, as if a magical maiden was pouring nectar into the chalice of the gods.What was going on with me? Why was I reacting like this? Did I have a secret fetish for female clowns that I had never known about? Was this natural? She was a probably a middle aged woman who slapped on funny clothes and makeup to escape a mundane existence. Why should I care!? Why was I drawn to her? Why did I find her sexy? And damn my knee was really beginning to hurt.I imagined her in her real life, coming home after a long day of clowning. Pulling her red frizzy wig off and sending it across the room. She would look in the mirror at herself, and ask if she was fulfilled with her life? Probably not. I imagined myself entering her drab world. She would be slightly shocked at first as I walked in, but then she tells me her husband isn’t home, again. I stare into her highly massacred blue eyes and put my arms around her shoulders, pulling us together. I bury my hands into the back of her neck and begin kneading her tense muscles. I want to to rub and cradle every inch of her into relaxed submission. I lightly kiss her lips and I can tell she is a little shocked and pulls bahcesehir escort bayan back. I look into her eyes again so she knows I am OK. This time she tilts her head into mine and our mouths warmly pair. I press closer into her, my hand slowly moving from behind her back, and helplessly searching for an opening in the clown suit so I can slide my palm inside her polka dot panties.Suddenly the real world screamed in my face. I am flushed and there is Pipsy standing right in front of me with all of the children watching. My face turns three shades of bright red as she speaks.”I asked are you enjoying the show Mr. … Sir?””Why yes I am.” I weakly eked out, in only the way an embarrassed person who was secretly thinking of sex in the wrong situation can.”Oh good! The kids and myself were wondering if you were having a good time?”I looked around and saw the questioning faces of twenty four children magnifying my shame to the power of ten.”I think, I am…” Swallowing hard, “I am having a great time Pipsy.”Her smile was soft and her blue eyes danced. However, I couldn’t help but notice her breasts that were now holding steady at eye level. Oh my god, this is some type of special hell. I felt like one of the bad boys in the room, who would have to be sent to the corner. Thankfully she twirled around to face the children again, and I caught site of her nicely shaped round bottom and her red skirt slapping against it proudly.I realized I was in big trouble. But something was going to have change before the show was over. What had I gotten myself into? This was not cool! I’m not a perv and I shouldn’t be thinking these thoughts. My mind became erratic thinking of exit strategies. Then, as if the phone gods conspired, my cell suddenly buzzed as Wendy, the matriarch, called for me. This is my chance.”Hello this is Jeff” I said quietly.“Hey Jeff! Is everything still good,? My baby sitting company man?”“Yes, but I just remembered I have a… a. .. an appointment that I need to get to, like right sorta now. Could you please escort the kids back?”“Why whats going on?”“Oh nothing, you don’t want to know. But I need to ah, get to my department, I mean appointment.”“I wasn’t notified that you had one.”“Well it sorta snuck up on me.”“Jeff you are acting weird, but I’ll be right there.”The sweat on my brow gave way and the mild hardness in my slacks subsided. Thankfully Wendy would be here soon, and I would thank her, then exit quickly. I knew if I played it right, she would understand. I would use the words “proactive” and “accrued PTO”. I knew she would appreciate that. Wendy was a weird company gal, with hair from the 80s and sweaters from the early 90s but in her own way she was still kinda sexy.But none of that thinking for the moment. I was playing it straight. I watched Pipsy for a few more escort bayan beylikdüzü minutes and was restraining my sexual thoughts quite well. I was still dying to know the real woman beneath the makeup and clothes. Who was this strange creature? Why was I attracted to her? Who makes the sad clown happy? I thought. I wanted to be that guy. I wanted to bend her over her bed and slide my hard cock deep inside her, then after giving her a crazy orgasm that would run down her legs I would paint a big ole happy face right over that pouty one. She would never wear that sad clown make up again.Suddenly, Wendy entered the room and bee lined straight to me.“Why are you pinching your leg like that?” She questioned.“Oh! I… I was- I hurt my knee and that’s why I have an appointment at the Dr, because my knee hurts.”“My knee would hurt too if you were pinching my leg like that.”“Acupuncture technique I learned. Yes… I learned that you pinch something to take your mind off of something else that is hurting.”“So now both knees hurt?”Damn she was clever.“Yes, but I am being proactive and using my accrued PTO to have myself examined.” I smartly said. “Yes you probably ought to have something examined.”My eyes disappeared into her heavily patterned sweater and sensible skirt. Her hair flowed with metal band style gel, but inside she raged to the company machine.“You know I appreciate how you always think of the work place, and if you wanted to stop by my office sometime we could talk privately about it. Kind of our own private work-review if you will.” She offered. Oh my god, I think the was queen propositioning me? She was being unusually friendly and I didn’t know what to say.“Oh never mind, I forgot,” She quickly interceded, “You’re getting safety lessons, I forgot.”I laughed. “Yes I am… lessons on how to stay.. safely.. apart.” I recited under my breath. “But I appreciate your proposal.”Oh my god, I was just lusting after a clown, now the head of Human Resources is propositioning me, and my girl friend works just two halls down!”I’ll take over here Jeff.” As H.R. Wendy pulled me back to reality. “Thank you for going along with the kids. I know they were probably not real happy with Brenda.””Brenda?” I asked.”The clown, shes my best friend and I’ve known her for years, but she’s always doing kookie stuff.””No, I think the children really liked her, a lot. They really liked the thing she did with her hand and fingers and the O thing when the liquid kept coming out. I think she is really cute” I bravely added.H.R. paused, “She would probably like to hear that.””She would?!” I probably shouldn’t have blurted out.”Well, look Jeff.” She took a serious tone, “Why don’t you tell her you really enjoyed the show, it would make her really happy.””I will.”“Oh, if you’re interested, I am having a small meeting tomorrow night, Brenda will be there.”“What?”“Were thinking of going into business together on the side. I would book children’s gigs for her. I’m sure your support would go a long way. She needs it.” She glanced at me funny for a moment then continued, “Besides there will be alcohol, and alcohol makes everything better.”

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