That Monday morning, for the first time in my life, I woke up in the arms of a dude. And not just any dude: he was the one I’d lusted for all this time, the one who’d made me realize I was gay, and the one I’d lost my man virginity to. I still couldn’t believe I’d had a similar effect on him.I’d assumed our little fling was just physical, but now I knew there was more to it. Part of me was nervous, because I didn’t know where this was going. Another part wanted to stay like that forever; I felt totally safe with his arms around me.Chad shifted his body, and I felt his morning wood press against me. I was tempted to play with him, but I resisted the urge. Instead, I just leaned over and kissed him.Chad yawned and rubbed his eyes. “What time is it?” he asked.“Seven forty-five,” I said.“What? You’re shitting me.”“No I’m not,” I said as I showed him my phone.“Shit,” he said as he jumped out of bed. “I’ve got an eight o’clock class. I need to run home and change—”“No you don’t,” I said. “Just wear something of mine.”“For Christ’s sake, Scott—”“Nobody will know,” I said. I got up and opened my closet. “Besides, we’re about the same size… isn’t that one of the perks of having a boyfriend?” I handed him a shirt.Chad paused, then took the shirt in his hands. “So is that what we are now?”“You tell me.”He looked around, as if he didn’t want to be seen. “Well,” he said, “we still don’t need to say anything. Not publicly, at least. I’ve had enough to deal with—”“I get it,” I said. I tossed him a pair of shorts, and he put them on. They ended up fitting him perfectly. “You look hot.”“It feels weird,” he said. “I’d never worn another dude’s clothes. At least not like this.”“Well, I’ve never had another dude as my boyfriend. So I guess that makes us even.”Chad let off a nervous laugh. He tried to smooth out his hair, but it wouldn’t cooperate, so I handed him a ballcap.“Look at it this way,” I said. “If you’re still uncomfortable after class, you can always come here… and I can peel these clothes back off of you.”“Mm,” he said as he kissed me. “I like the sound of that.” Then he stepped into isvecbahis his flip-flops and hurried out the door.I just stood there for a second, then plopped down on my bed. I reached down to Chad’s dirty clothes, which were still lying on the floor. I held his pants to my face and inhaled his musky scent. I had to force myself not to do anything naughty.My mind started swimming with all the shit I had to do. I was a little self-conscious about the hickey Chad had left, so I knew I’d have to be careful about what I wore. I also knew I’d need to get tested after the summer I’d had. I could’ve gone to the student health center for that, but I didn’t have the nerve; I remembered how Chad had mentioned having gone somewhere else, so I made a mental note to ask him for details.In the meantime, I went through my phone and deleted my hookup apps. Grindr was the first to go, followed by Jack’d, Hornet, and finally Scruff. By that point, I felt bad for having used them at all.Eventually I showered and dressed, and I headed out to my first class. It was a philosophy course, which was required for my major but was totally uninteresting. To me, it was one more reason to switch majors, although I wasn’t in the mood to deal with yet another life decision, and I still didn’t know what I might want to switch to.I spent that class basically lost in thought. On the one hand, I was pumped about me and Chad being a couple; I wanted to run off with him and live happily ever after. But on the other hand, I was scared of falling too hard too fast, especially since I’d been burned by him before. I knew he’d had his reasons for what he’d done, but I still didn’t know what to think of how he’d gone about it. Now the stakes were that much higher, at least in my mind.I was starting to realize how complicated Chad really was, and I could only guess what was going to come next. I’d never been one to talk about my feelings, but at that particular moment, I was dying to get that shit off my chest. The problem was, I had no one to talk to, at least about that. I couldn’t say anything to the Kap Eps—even Ryan or Marcos—and isveçbahis giriş I’d hardly talked to my other friends in months.I’d just left class, and was walking past the quad, when I saw a flyer for Wildcat Pride. I knew this was a gay student group, but beyond that, I didn’t know much about them. The flyer said they’d be holding a meeting that Thursday. I knew I wasn’t ballsy enough to actually show up, but I was intrigued enough to want to know more.I was about to look them up when my phone buzzed, and I saw a text from Chad: I feel like going to Giulia’s for dinner. Wanna come?I felt a little flutter in my chest, and at least some of my anxiety went away. Giulia’s was the best pizza joint in town. I paused for a second, then typed out the words: Just you and me?That’s the idea, he said.I debated how to respond. Finally I just settled on: That’s cool.Awesome, he said. I’ll pick you up at 7. Sound good?I took a deep breath. It’s a date, I wrote, and then I hit “send”.I wasn’t sure what to do next. After all, I’d never done any actual gay dating, so I wasn’t clear on how it all worked. It did make sense for him to pick me up, since he had his own car and I didn’t. I also assumed we wouldn’t do any PDA, since neither of us were publicly out. But that was about all I knew.I wasn’t sure if one of us should be pursuing the other, or if there were other rules for us to follow. Even basic questions were confusing, like who would pay for dinner—should one of us treat the other, or should we just go Dutch? Should we open doors for each other, or could that come across the wrong way?I almost felt like we should discuss it beforehand, but I also felt like that could be weird. Then again, Chad was just as new at this as I was, so I wasn’t sure he had the answers either. Eventually I just quit worrying about it, and I decided we’d cross those bridges when we got there.In the meantime, I did want to put my best foot forward. After my last class of the day, I headed back to my apartment, and I rummaged through my closet to pick out my outfit for the night. Then I stripped down and isveçbahis yeni giriş stepped in the shower.I probably didn’t need another shower, but I didn’t want to leave anything to chance. I also needed to relax, and I knew it helped to jerk off before a date. After all, I’d spent the whole day thinking of Chad, so my hormones were already raging. I didn’t want my horniness to get the best of me, at least not in front of him.I didn’t turn on the water at first. I just sat in the tub, spread my legs, and started playing with myself. I was already oozing pre-cum, which I smeared all over my cockhead. I ran my free hand down my chest, then made my way across my hips and thighs.I gripped my cock as hard as I could. I kept thinking of Chad’s ass, and how tight it could squeeze me. Finally I threw my head back and started pounding away. I could already feel my balls start to boil, and I couldn’t help letting off a groan.My mind was swimming with all the things Chad and I could start doing now. If all went well, we could both get practically unlimited dick: we could have quickies between classes, or we could spend whole nights having marathon fuck sessions. We could lie in bed and cuddle, or exchange pillow talk, or do whatever else we felt like. It seemed like the sky was the limit, at least in my mind.It only took a few seconds before I got off. “Oh shit,” I said as my body went rigid, and my jizz splattered all over the tub.I just sat there for a minute. After I caught my breath, I got up and turned on the water. I cleaned myself up and stepped out of the shower. Finally, I dressed, combed my hair, and sprayed some cologne. Then I waited.Chad showed up right when he’d promised, at seven o’clock. He’d apparently cleaned up too—he was wearing a dress shirt, which struck me as a little out of character, but it looked good on him.As it turned out, our dinner was totally casual. Giulia’s was showing the Padres game, so we just watched it over pizza. I wasn’t a huge baseball fan, and neither was Chad, but he felt duty-bound to root for his home team. The Padres were playing the Pirates that night, though it wasn’t much of a fight; the Padres led for practically the whole game, and they eventually won 3-1. Chad told me this was unusual, since they didn’t have a great record, so he’d take those wins whenever he could get them.