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After Ellie left, I sat in our empty room and thought. I said to myself that there’s no way around it. You have to endure it. There’s no use in feeling restless, uneasy, or rebel against; this is your fate. The path is clear, bow your head, and follow your fate.
There was no point for protesting or pretending. My feelings or objections did not matter for her. And feeling bad about her attitude wouldn’t make any difference. I had two options; first to put an end to this and disappear from her life, or just stop feeling bad and endure the humiliation to the end, wherever it takes to me.
I picked the second way. I have no regrets.
I knew that I pushed myself towards this many times before, but then found myself again in agony for what she was doing to me. But at that point, I decided to enjoy it consciously. I had to face with my real personality; I was a submissive. I ignored it, pretended that it’s not there maybe for many years, but there were no places to hide for me anymore. Only way to survive was to enjoy what’s happening. Let myself consciously accept submissiveness and slave nature. From that point, I decided to push myself actively to enjoy it. And do not feel bad about humiliation, instead even internalise it. Enjoy being worthless, enjoy being ignored, humiliated, defamated. Crave for it even. As she expected from me; enjoy giving up on her. Enjoy not having a dignity. Enjoy crawling in agony, in jealousy. Make the pain your source of pleasure. As there is no other ways to cure this pain.
Enjoy sucking her toes or eating her not because it gives me pleasure in any way, but it gives her a pleasure. Enjoy when she fucks someone, encourage her to have sex. Prepare her for someone else. Pick her dresses, manicure her nails, compliment her hair, drive her to dates. And enjoy giving her away. Without expecting to taste her divine womanhood yourself. Ever.
Get rid of your ego completely, and be a part of Ellie. Like her lungs, her hands, her feet, her emotions. Just be another part of her. Following commands and desires of its owner without its own willpower.
So did I.
I was a submissive, slave-natured man and thanks to Ellie’s perfect care I was now at peace with myself.
I laid on my bed, and started imagining her getting fucked by Kyle. I tried to visualise how she gave him a handjob, how he looked at her, what she felt when his hot cum sprayed in her hand. How he is probably sucking her tits now, how he is sliding inside her. Then I thought how I got down on my knees and put on her socks in front of Kyle. How I kissed her feet in front of everyone. What they might have thought about me. And it gave me an immense pleasure. For the first time, I was actively enjoying the humiliation, instead of resisting it or sweeping it under the rug.
At some point, I was so overflowed with the excitement and arousal, I picked the socks I put on her sweet feet just hours ago with an humiliating ritual, placed them on my face, and masturbated. I was actively disobeying the orders now, but for a greater purpose. I was sure that she can understand me. I was internalising the humiliation via pleasure. I was facing the demon living in me, and letting him free. It took me less than five seconds to orgasm. First of my very rare orgasms as a true slave.
…
…
Ellie came back later that night, and slid inside the bed fully naked. The luscious smell of her sweaty skin filled the room, and we fell asleep next to each other without saying a word.
When I woke up, Kyle was already gone. Once Ellie woke up I ran her a bath as she was having her morning coffee and drenching her naked body with morning sun on the couch.
“Hope you had fun last night babe?” I said to her when she got in the bathtub.
“Yeah, it was good. And fun too, he tried to keep silent but I pushed his limits.” she laughed. “Did you hear anything or should I try harder next time?”
“I haven’t heard anything actually. But I can see in your smile that you it was indeed a good sex.”
“Well, not particularly amazing but yeah it was good.”
It was just another morning-after-sex with her. But it was a special day for me. I wanted to talk with her about my thoughts last night. I was hoping to make her happy by showing the new levels of my dedication. I was also planning to ask for forgiveness for cumming.
“Ellie, I actually wanted to talk about something…”
“But I don’t. Go and prepare my breakfast.” She cut me off with a commanding voice. I thought for a second that she thought I am going to complain again, and that’s why I was cut off. So I had to explain myself:
“No I’m not going to….”
“I said breakfast pinky. Chop chop!”
“Sure Ellie, will be ready in 15.”
I left the bathroom. Again, she was indifferent to my feelings, thoughts, agony, or enjoyment. But I was OK. She didn’t need to listen to me. She didn’t need to do anything. I felt proud for not feeling bad this time.
However, there was Ankara escort still my confession to be made. So when she was having her breakfast, I silently kneeled in front of her and told her what I did last night. Then, I felt I need to explain more and summarised my train of thought as much as possible to her. Her response was almost perfect:
“You’re sweet pinky, but also so dramatic… it was just sex. I was horny and fucked someone. I wasn’t trying to “humiliate” you or whatever. Chill out. Go with the flow and stop overthinking about everything. You put on my socks in front of the guy who’s fucking me. So what?” She had another bite from her toast before continuing:
“But you’re on the right track. I appreciate it. You’re getting better every day. Still, it doesn’t change the fact that you misbehaved. Putting my socks on your wherever doesn’t make it any better. I’ll think about a proper punishment for it. Don’t do it ever again without my permission. Understood?”
“Understood, I’m sorry.”
After the breakfast, Ellie called me to the living room and ordered me to get naked. I took off everything and stood in front of her. I was rock hard. She started studying my dick with her fingers, ran her middle finger through my shaft, tapped on the tip, gently carressed my balls. I was watching her every single movement and trying to etch it to my memory. This was a sight I hadn’t seen for a very long time; Ellie touching my penis!
“Your punishment will be knowing that you have no shortcomings compared to other people I actually fucked. You’re even bigger and better-shaped than some. Shape is important too, you know? Especially when blowing. I sucked uglier dicks. If it wasn’t attached to you I’m sure I’d love to taste this one too. And you’re pretty good-looking actually. I genuinely believe that you would be a great fuck. And I know that a lot of girls would be happily go to bed with you. But you will never taste it. At least for any foreseeable future. I will never let you put your thing in anything, a girl, boy or a toy. I will rarely allow you to orgasm. Very rarely., only when it’s absolutely physically necessary. And I’m sure you’ll have some wet dreams once in a while to get rid of the excess anyways. So you’re not even allowed to ask for it. You will sit in your room and cry with balls full of cum, while there are a lot of girls waiting to drain you. And I will drain others while you cry for me. OK?”
“Of course Ellie. Thank you. I don’t desire anyone else anyways. Thank you…”
….
She went to Kyle’s place a couple days later, again “to study”. We picked her a set of very sexy lingerie together. Then she put on an oversized hoodie and joggers on top of that elegant underwear, saying that it’ll be a fun suprise for Kyle. I drove her off and dropped her to Kyle’s flat, which he shares with two other guys.
I was still finding it very dangerous. Not for personal or selfish reasons, but I was worried that people might talk about Ellie and Kyle, which might hurt her. Someone could say something stupid and she might be upset. Or whatever. You got me. Which actually happened just a couple days after her visit to Kyle’s room. A friend of mine, who’s clueless about what’s happening in general, pulled me aside to talk and told me that people are talking about something’s going on between Ellie and Kyle, and no disrespect but he thought that I should know. I didn’t react much but I told him that I knew that they are studying on something together, and I was mostly present with them so nothing actually happens and pretended to get very angry on whoever is talking about this bullshit.
But it was something to be addressed, so I talked to Ellie the same evening. I tried to be as respectful as possible, and told her about the thing my friend was talking about. It made her extremely upset indeed. She loved being slutty, but being known as a “slut who’s cheating on her boyfriend” was a title she wasn’t willing to carry. I wanted to say “I said so”, but as a very well-trained slave, I told her instead that we should do something to put this an end.
“You know what Pinky, all of the girls are cheating their boyfriends. All the girls. That thick fuck Daron doesn’t know but Beth fucked both Kyle and Simon. Grace sucked a guy she doesn’t even know while she was with Martin. Cora literally went to a holiday with another guy while she had a boyfriend. I’m sure their boyfriends have some flings too. And now people are talking about me and Kyle?”
“Wow” I thought to myself. “It’s more of a fuckfest of degeneration than a college campus and I’m the only virgin who’s right in the middle.” But I kept my thoughts to myself. After calmed down a little, she called Kyle and they argued over the phone as if I’m not at the room. Ellie was blaming him for being loose-lipped and Kyle was swearing that he didn’t tell anyone anything. Obviously no-one admitted any wrongdoings but to this day I’m quite certain that Escort Ankara Kyle, that rude bastard, probably bragged about getting laid with Ellie here and there and that’s how the word got out.
After that day they didn’t see each other again, and carried out a distant friendship within their group. Although the rumours had ceased after a while, I managed to catch some questioning glimpses from people.
…
But this gossip ended up in a completely unexpected result, at my expense.
It was soon after their break-up with Kyle. She came home late in the evening, after having a dinner with Ava. I was busy with one of her assignments, which was something she probably didn’t even have an idea about. By then I was tasked to keep track of assignment emails, prepare the assignment as well as a summary for her by due date, just in case professor asks a question. So, she was made aware of most of the assignments when I hand her the summary sheet.
She jumped on the armchair, hanging her feet over one of the armrests. I dutifully got up and started taking off her white sneakers. It was then, she told me that she decided to announce our break-up. I did stop briefly, until she nudged me with her shoe -the I one I yet to move. I felt heartbroken, but didn’t say anything. I was well aware that we were not a couple for a very long time, but announcing it to people was still something to feel bad about. But I was also not clear what she had in mind. I didn’t interrupt my important task of taking off her shoes, and let her speak:
“You will move to the guest room and we’ll announce people that we are not together anymore. But we’ll keep living together as roommates as it’s too expensive to find a new place and move, and we’re still great friends and going to be the best roommates. So then we won’t need to think about what people are gossiping about and have more freedom. And meanwhile we can still live together and you can serve me. Also you won’t need to worry about being “humiliated” when I get laid with someone. Isn’t it genius?”
It was smart indeed. I placed a kiss on her sole, and told her that I liked the idea.
…
I moved to the guest bedroom after that night. And Ellie started telling people that we broke up. Everything else was pretty much the same, but I was going to the guest bedroom to sleep. I was craving her presence and smell in my room, but I didn’t complain and followed her will. Ellie also didn’t have sex with anyone for a while until things calm down and people stop caring about us.
Around that time, I believe soon before Ellie and Kyle broke up, I got a cold call from Hazel. I even struggled to remember who Hazel is when I answered the phone, but she reminded herself to me saying that she’s Dylan’s sister, and Ellie gave my number to her. And she was asking me to help her with an assignment. What she told me is that she asked Dylan first, which send her over to Ellie, saying her major is related to that -which was not-, so eventually Ellie sent her over to me saying I can help her. It wasn’t a big deal so I helped her.
Then a week after, she called me for the second one. Soon, the third one wasn’t an ask for help, instead she asked me if I can do the entire assignment for her as she had some other urgent stuff to do. At that point, I told her that it would not be appropriate and I can’t do the full assignment for her. I was trying to be a responsible adult, but also knowing that I should be respectful towards her, I added that I am happy to help if she needs any support for parts of it.
She sighed, and thanked me briefly before hanging up. But the same evening, Ellie called me into her room, and asked me why I didn’t help Hazel. It was the first time we actually talked about me helping Hazel. I told her that I was helping her already for a while, but this time she asked me to do the entire work and that’s why I refused. But then Ellie gave me very clear commands:
“You are not an epitome of merit pinky. It’s not even your concern to be a responsible adult or a role model for her. You are just a tool to do whatever you’re told to. So you will call Hazel now, apologise and ask her to send over that assignment. To make up for your disrespect, you’ll do the other schoolwork she has too. And you will ask her to send assignments straight away from now on. Clear?”
“Sure Ellie, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t say it to me. Call her now and make sure to apologise properly.”
So I called Hazel. While it’s ringing, Ellie asked me to put it on the speaker:
“Hi Hazel, I’m sorry to refuse helping you with the assignment. Can you please accept my apologies? To make up for it I’ll do this one and the others you have.”
“No worries, no need to apologise… and thanks for this…”
I heard in her voice that he wasn’t sure how to respond, but also willing to continue exploiting my services. Then, Ellie urged me silently to continue. So I carried on:
“And after this Escort Bayan one when you have an assignment that you think I can help, please forward them straight to me with a deadline and I’ll do my best to help. I hope that would make up for my rudeness earlier?”
“I think so… it would be nice actually… thanks…”
“My pleasure. Happy to help anytime.”
After that day, I did numerous tasks and assignments for her. She was simply forwarding me emails, or sending a photo of the assignment paper and I was getting that done with an “executive summary” as soon as possible.
…
Back then, my entire life was evolving around doing the housework and assignments for Ellie and Hazel, and taking care of my own studies whenever I have time. Actual in-person serving to Ellie was mostly limited to occassional worship sessions whenever she asks. Other than that occassions, a real slave’s life is quite dull. It’s not a constant latex-dressed freakshow as internet makes you believe. It’s much more of doing the dishes, cooking, laundry, vacuuming, and boring schoolwork. I was also given up all of my social life to be able to keep up with everything. Since we announced our break-up, I wasn’t being invited to social gatherings as much as before, and my other friends were slowly giving up on me.
Actually, one of my once-close friends tried to talk to me, thinking I’m depressed and need some help, but I assured him that everything’s fine and I’m doing great. Which was sort of true. I tried to attend some gatherings, but I was sensing a pitiness towards me from people, most likely because everyone was thinking that Ellie cheated on me, and then dumped me but we were still pretending to be friends and living together. Yeah that’s sort of something to be pity of, but it still made all those gatherings annoying and I stopped going anywhere. Sometimes, when Ellie has people over, I was greeting them before disappearing in my room for assignments.
….
Then, one night Ellie came back with a friend, Ava.
I was in my room when they made their way into the living room. Just seconds later, I heard Ellie shouting my “slave name”:
“Pinky!!!”
It was my unofficial slave name, and she was almost exclusively calling me “pinky” by then. Still, I felt something worrying was about to happen.
When I entered the room, Ellie was sitting on the armchair while hanging her legs over one of the armrests, and Ava was on the sofa. I saw an eager glow on her eyes. Then, Ellie told me something I was dreading to hear about:
“Take off my shoes slave!”
She had an evilish smile on her beautiful face. I heard Ava’s laugh.
….
I went beet red instantly, but it didn’t prevent me from going down on my knees. I was facing away from Ava, so didn’t see her reaction, but she screamed an “Oh my god!” when I went on my knees. I felt the burning sensation of embarrassment all over my body. I untied her shoes slowly while she watched me with a grin. I removed Ellie’s shoes silently and looked at her face. She didn’t say anything and kept watching me. So, I took off her socks as well, and approached to her naked soles.
“Oh my god ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod!!!” screamed Ava with an extreme excitement when I started kissing her soles. I wasn’t going to stop until I’m told so. I was determined to endure all humiliation, all degradation. And I was enjoying it truly. I was rock-hard already. My soft kisses turned into wet ones. I sucked the delicate arch of her foot. Made my way slowly to her heels, making sure not to miss a single spot. Then I moved up, following the slight curve of her outer soles I reached to her sweet small toes.
“I told you that he’s very well trained.” Said Ellie while pressing her big toe lightly on my lips. I opened my mouth and started sucking. I saw that she was proud of her work of art on her gaze.
“That is sick!” Ava was still struggling to believe what she was seeing. Ellie didn’t say anything, and kept watching my dedication on worshipping her.
“I knew something was going on between you two for a while but boy not this!”
“Pinky, why don’t you help our guest too?”
I stopped briefly and looked at her. I wasn’t sure what she was expecting from me. Worship Ava?
“Go and take off her shoes too, make her feel like home.” She said to put an end to my confusion, and pushed me gently on the face with her feet.
“Sure Ellie, sorry I couldn’t think…” then I got up, walked towards Ava and got on my knees again. She was watching me with an awe, and was probably more confused than me. We both didn’t know what to do, or how to react. I didn’t even know what Ellie told about me, and how much she knows. Avoiding an eye contact, I asked her silently:
“May I help you to take off your shoes?”
She had some ugly-looking loafers, and unlike Ellie’s sneakers it didn’t require any untying. She raised both of her feet slightly, and I quickly removed her shoes, revealing her veiny ankles and low-cut liner socks. Briefly, I thought that Ellie never had such an ugly shoes or socks. Another thing she was perfect on. It was no suprise that I was hopelessly in love with her.
“Go ahead, kiss them. Don’t be shy.” said Ellie. But Ava hesitated, and pulled back her feet.